Mom tries to charge friend who used to babysit 13-year-old daughter $400 to spend time with her after she begins modeling: 'You're dealing with a future superstar'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Nov 1, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

When you watch a kid grow up throughout their whole lives, it is inevitable that your relationship with them evolves and changes whether you are one of their parents or not. They aren't going to be that chubby-cheeked toddler forever, and it's likely that you will go through difficult patches as well.

What is a lot less normal is that you start being charged a fee to see them, yet this is exactly what happened to one astonished woman with her close friend's oldest daughter. Her friend had begun to get her 13-year-old into modeling and influencing, apparently seeing some success with it. 

This led to the girl having a work schedule that conflicted with the times she would usually spend time with her mom's friend, leading her mom to request a $400 fee for the privilege of spending time with her child. Understandably, this proposal did not go down well.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10422985984
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for calling my close friend an idiot and money because she wants me to pay to bond with her kid?
    via Babysitting-Blues
  • 03
    This is such a stupid situation but alas | (28F) have a longtime friend, "Lena" (29F). We've known each other since middle school. Had our ups and downs but things have been fine overall. Lena's life isn't super easy. She had her first child, "Maya", at 16 and had a couple more before she was 24. I'm the godmother of the younger 2 but not Maya since I was so young when she was born. Still, I love Maya to death and I've always been like an aunt to her.
    via Babysitting-Blues
  • 04
    Lena has financial issues and I try to help whenever I can. I don't charge to babysit, if I have extra money, 'll buy them a few groceries, etc. I try to do what I can financially but I'm not rich myself so it's not always a lot. Lena also asks me for help A LOT, though, and I give what I can because I don't want my godchildren going without, even when it puts me in uncomfortable financial situations.
    via Babysitting-Blues
  • 05
    Anyway, Maya feels she's getting a little too old to always be playing with her younger siblings so I've started taking her out with me on various outings on Saturdays. Over the past few years, Lena has started getting Maya into modeling and influencing. It was a slow start but she's a super cute kid and things are starting to pickup. She knows Maya and I have this standing "date" for a few hours every Saturday.
    via Babysitting-Blues
  • 06
    Lena came to me this morning to talk about this upcoming weekend. Apparently, things are really starting to take off for Maya. Lena has already had to turn down quite a few shoots/gigs/whatever because she wanted to be considerate of our bonding time. But she says that's no longer feasible because they're starting to pay more. She doesn't, however, want our time together to stop, necessarily. She just wants me to pay her the money Maya would be missing out on if she could've had a gig that day.
    via Babysitting-Blues
  • 07
    Heathcoatman NTA of course. If I were in your shoes I would have been flabbergasted. I'm projecting a bit but I wonder if this 400$ gig is actually real. If she really had a gig like that, the proper thing for the mom to say is 'her career is starting to take off so this Saturday is no good. Is there another time of the week you two can spend time together? Like Wednesday evening or something?' or 'Hey, she has this important gig on Saturday, want to come along and we can get something to eat af
    via Heathcoatman
  • 08
    Babysitting-Blues OP Actually, this makes a lot of sense and I was too astounded by the request to even think this through. I'm gonna reach out to Maya and see what she can tell me about the gig.
    via Babysitting-Blues
  • 09
    GhostWCoffee Please do. I got a hunch that Maya's mother is planning to use Maya as an influencer to get rich, or for other selfish reasons. In any case, it's definitely worth hearing Maya's side of this whole influencer thing. NTA
    via GhostWCoffee
  • 10
    I_Need_Psych_Help If Lena's prioritizing gigs over genuine bonding, that's a red flag. Maya deserves to enjoy her childhood, not just be a cash cow for her mom.
    via I_Need_Psych_Help
  • 11
    whoamiwhatareyouu Sounds like Lena is putting her dreams before her kids. Maya should have the freedom to just be a kid.
    via whoamiwhatareyouu
  • 12
    aemondstareye This is well and truly absurd. What happens when Maya is invited to a friend's birthday party and it conflicts with an appearance? Shall she charge the birthday kid a fee to appear? Tip the paparazzi off, strut into the party in Gucci shades and an ironic Yankees cap? Please. NTA.
    via aemondstareye
  • 13
    Babysitting-Blues OP Right! I get wanting her kid to be successful but making others pay for her to have fun outside of work just feels ridiculous to me.
    via Babysitting-Blues
  • 14
    Ok_Conversation9750 It feels ridiculous because it is ridiculous!
    via Ok_Conversation9750
  • 15
    Sputnik918 I don't get wanting a kid to be successful. I get wanting a kid to be a kid. The whole thing is twisted even before we get to your situation.
    via Sputnik918
  • 16
    Tdluxon NTA This is a totally bizarre request. I'm assuming that Lena is keeping the money that Maya makes, in which case I also think it isn't right that she's essentially using her young daughter as a source of income. What you said is pretty much d ad on but I don't she's going to change her mind.
    via Tdluxon
  • 17
    Babysitting-Blues OP I guess I CAN give her credit for at least using some of the money to get the kids nicer clothes and updated school supplies but she does seem to pocket most of it.
    via Babysitting-Blues
  • 18
    KBD_in_PDX This is a baldfaced lie, no doubt about it. If she was really catching all of these gigs, with the money issues they're having, it's totally unrealistic that she'd be turning down these opportunities. NTA at all and this friendship may have run its course... it's literally outrageous that you'd supervise her child for her, and then pay her for the honor...
    via KBD_in_PDX
  • 19
    Altruistic-Western73 No. Lena is a typical broken woman, and her kids will be turn out that way if you do not help them. However by getting them into the TikTok stage at that age, Maya is going to be a broken woman in so many ways by the time she gets to 16. There is not rational to expect a friend, and especially a friend who has supported her so much, to pay for time with her child. Lena is a narcissist so just cut her off. Unfortunately that will mean cutting off Maya too, so just before you
    via Altruistic-Western73
  • 20
    Babysitting-Blues OP Gosh, this feels like the logical answer, but Maya is my baby in so many ways. Just the thought is heartbreaking. The three of us really grew up together.
    via Babysitting-Blues
  • 21
    Extension-Issue3560 OMG.....she is a piece of work You already do way more than you should or can afford. As much as you love the kids, you need to stop taking care of your mooch friend....and focusing on your life and finances. Is there no baby daddy she can hound for money?
    via Extension-Issue3560
  • 22
    Babysitting-Blues OP So Maya has a dad and the younger two share a dad. Maya's dad kinda disappeared when she was around 2. No help from him. Can't even find him to request child support from what I understand. The other dad helps "when he can," I guess? But it doesn't seem like he often can.
    via Babysitting-Blues
  • 23
    srgonzo75 NTA. First, Lena is commodifying Maya's time, which is understandable for a parent who's had to struggle with money, but it's not a trait I would recommend teaching one's child. Second, from what I've read, you've helped Lena's family survive. Charging you to spend time with her oldest is tacky. If Maya has a gig, and Lena doesn't want to interrupt that, she could ask you to chaperone her so you can get that time you both value, and Maya doesn't miss out on anything.
    via srgonzo75
  • 24
    Warm Water_5480 Godparent doesn't mean parent, and you're doing way too much. I'm completely happy to help people, but when they lose appreciation and it becomes an expectation, they need to get cut off. Helping with your time if you have some free time is completely fine, but she should not be financially relying on you, that's absurd. These are her bad decisions, and you shouldn't be destroying your future for them. It's not just the money you have now.. what's your retirement plan? Do you hav
    via Warm_Water_5480
  • 25
    archetyping101 NTA. If she valued the time you're spending with Maya, then she shouldn't ask for reimbursement. If Maya is that desirable and these shoots and gigs revolve around her, they can be rescheduled. Also, your hangouts can also be rescheduled for FREE. Considering what you've done for her and her kids all these years and being such a good friend, this was so absurdly insulting.
    via archetyping101

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